Life in the single lane: The Brazilian Weave v. The Blackberry

Studio 53 host Eku Edewor rocks the Brazilian weave
as she concentrates on her blackberry phone

Ping!

The sound of his blackberry went off. We haven’t been able to hold a conversation for 30 minutes.

‘Please excuse me a min’, he said. "No problem", I replied.

He continued pinging, my patience was thinning out. His fingers looked like crows feet as he tapped the keys of the blasted berry. I stared at him as he was making faces and smiling into his phone.

This was a business meeting for chrissakes. This guy was wasting my time.

Impatient, I get up, he hardly notices. As I started out he looked up.

‘Madam we haven’t even started our meeting’. I cringe at the word ‘madam’ but still stay calm.

 I gave him a warm smile and said

‘Can we reschedule please?’

‘Okay’ he said, without as much as a glance at me.

‘Will give you a call ok?’ He said without looking up.

As I walked out of the restaurant, I see an old friend Kelechi. She runs to me and in a hurry asks me for my bb pin. I smiled and said I use a regular nokia phone and not a bb. With a strange look on her face she said 

‘How on earth can you not own a blackberry?’ we laugh, hug and we exchange numbers and she runs off.

As I wait for a taxi, someone bumps into me, I almost break my heel as I try to steady myself. I look up and see a young girl concentrating so hard on a device she was holding. Guess what? It was the blackberry. She was obviously pinging that she didn’t see where she was going.

I yelled, ‘Watch where you are going next time’

She mumbled inaudibly, ‘I’m sorry’ and went on her way her eyes still fixated on her bb.

I stand and wonder what the fuss was about this blasted berry. What is all the bb fever about? Is it a status symbol or just a tool to make non- blackberrians like me look like they really haven’t started ‘living’ yet.

I hail a cab and as I got into the cab I got a call from my boss.

He barks, ‘Have you seen my mail?’

‘No sir!’ ‘I’m not in the office right now. Will most definitely check when I get to the office’’

‘When you get to the office??’ ‘NO! Use your blackberry, quick! I want your reply now!’

Ding!

At this point I can take it no more

I almost yell into the phone

I DO NOT HAVE A BLACKBERRY SIR

‘What kind of person doesn’t have a blackberry in this age?’ He heaved a sigh and ‘click’ the phone went dead.

I pay off the cab driver and walk into my office building. A stream of girls with the soft looking hair called the Brazilian weave walked past giggling loudly. I looked and saw they were all doing one thing- pinging!

My God! Am I being haunted?

I get to my desk and notice that someone has dropped off a bag under my desk. I open it and see the almighty Brazilian weave. Someone says an ex colleague dropped it off for me and the message she left for me is that it cost a whopping 98 grand.

Hell, No!

As I begin to fuss about this, my phone rings. It was IJ. Before she could say anything I screamed into the phone.

‘IJ, I do not need a Brazilian weave. I can’t afford it’

‘C’mon girl, big girl like you, upwardly mobile chic like you, you need to have a Brazilian weave, even small girls wear it now’.

'And that’s enough reason IJ? Please come and carry it’

‘You know what?’ she says ‘you can pay me bit by bit till you finish paying up. Trust me girl you need to have a Brazilian weave’.

Defiant, I insist she comes pick up her kaya

I’m torn at this point. First the blackberry and now the Brazilian weave.

I look around my office and see that I’m the only one wearing the regular synthetic weave and Oh! My receptionist is wearing my kind of hair.

 Thank God!

 But then I realise that even she has a bb.

Dammit!

Now between the bb and the bw. I’m torn.

I get home and a neighbour, a really cute, hot guy I fancy held me up in a conversation just outside my gate.

‘Nne what’s your bb pin?’

That did it!

‘I do not have a bb.’

Taken aback by the harshness in my tone, he quickly says

‘Ok nwanne, sorry but I thought you had one, wanted to send you a picture and seek your opinion about something". I say ok and he decides to show me the picture on his phone.

It was the picture of a girl.

‘Why are you showing me this picture?’

 He asked me, ‘What’s the name of the girl’s hair?’

Lo and behold it was the Almighty Brazilian weave.

‘So this is the Brazilian weave my sisters have been going on and on about". He said excitedly.

'Will like to buy it for one chic I’ve been chasing. Do you think it would win her over?'

I almost died...

The very next day I used my savings to go buy a bb and gladly accepted IJ, the Brazilian weave merchant’s ‘generous’ offer.

Now I’m a normal, ‘though very broke at the moment’ single girl!

And guess what? I still don’t get what all the fuss is about.

To see other stories in this series click  here and here