Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Life in the single lane: The Triangle

Hahaha! Can you imagine a guy doing that to you.. Eew!'

'It's so disgusting, if my man should try it i'm so dumping him warraheck'

The scene in question was a scene from the movie, 'The Dictator'. Sacha Baron Cohen's character, General Hafeez Aladeen, was licking a woman's hairy armpit.

By this time I had gotten my fill of the endless chatter. It was my first time actually going to the cinema to see a movie. My adorable nieces had gone on and on about how I needed to see Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator since I had been a huge fan of his since Borat. I had finally agreed to see the movie, but the girls sitting behind me hadn't stopped talking since the movie started making the movie painful to watch.

I turned to them. I couldn't quite make out their faces in the almost pitch black cinema, which was dimly illuminated by the screen projector. 'Hello girls, can you turn your voices down a bit? Thank you'

I heard them giggle then one of them said 'sorry'. I turned my attention back to the movie. Sacha at this time was hanging from a window his limp penis horribly covered with hair. The whole cinema erupted with laughter , myself inclusive but the girls behind me had their laughter tuned to the highest frequency.

"Damn did you see that?" they continued laughing. Then one of them nudged me from behind. "Why ain't you laughing?"

I replied, "I did laugh but I have to stop laughing so I can enjoy the rest of the movie besides I didn't think it was that funny'

"Not funny? really? that's like the funniest thing I've seen" the girl chirped and continued giggling.

We became fast friends after that. I got to know later that the 2 chirpy girls, Gbemi and Olivia were best friends. While Gbemi was vivacious, pretty and really talkative, Olivia was a much calmer person that had this quiet confidence about her. We quickly turned to movie buddies as Gbemi and Olivia would hit me up whenever a new movie was out. Because of them I fell in love with going to the cinema.

Gbemi did not hide the fact that she had eyes for me. We didn't cross the friendship line but I could see it from the tone of her voice and how flirty she got around me. Unfortunately, I found that I was attracted to Olivia. She was charming and mysterious and I was quite enthralled by her charm and intelligence but we had become such good friends that I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. Friendship with both girls had become something truly special.

One day I finally found the guts to ask Olivia out. I had dropped by her house that evening to take her to eat pizza. Seeing as I was headed in a different direction, she asked if we weren't going to pick Gbemi from her house. To which I replied, fibbing 'she'll join us later'

We got to the pizzeria, ordered pizzas and drinks then the conversation turned serious

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably as I looked intently at her. "Timi why are you looking at me like that"

"Olivia dearie, you've become really special to me and I'm so scared that I would be boxed into the friendship zone"

I continued, resolving to be unfazed by the bemused expression on her face 'As much as I appreciate our friendship, i'll be the happiest man in the world if only you could be my woman to have, to hold and cherish for the rest of my life'.

She stopped eating and for a moment just looked at me. Then suddenly she burst out laughing. OMG! she was about to put a dent on my ego, please God I can't deal with this

'Are you serious Timi?' She said quizzically

'As serious as a heart attack beautiful..' 'I've felt this way for a very long time and I cant keep lying to myself' I said keeping my face straight

'Ok so I go from friend to girlfriend in a manner of seconds' Olivia replied smiling
'Wait a minute Liv'... Is that a YES?'

'Yes it is Timi'. I couldn't believe what I just heard. I started jumping up and down elated.

'Thank you so much Liv, you just made me the happiest man alive. I promise never to hurt you. I promise to be the best man you ever had and will ever have. I love you, I said kissing the back of her hand.

'How do we break this news to Gbemi? She will be beyond shocked'

'I'll call her right away'

Olivia picked up her phone to call Gbemi.

'Guess what bish? You won't believe this.. I have a new boyfriend. Guess who?.. Timi. Yes, same Timi, our Timi. Yeah, Today.. Just now. I could hear Gbemi screaming. Olivia ended the call suddenly looking a little confused.

'Imagine, Gbemi is reprimanding me,saying its morally wrong for you to cross the friendship line that you only took advantage of our friendship because you had an agenda from the beginning'.

'What?? you know that's not true dear. I was just being friends but found that I had fallen for you'

'Don't worry about it. It's just Gbemi being the typical mother hen. She will get used to it'

I said a silent prayer

The next few months were a horror

Gbemi started seducing me unashamedly, showing up at my office unannounced for the flimsiest of reasons...expressing wanton desires. She would call me at odd hours, it was tough getting her off my back and I knew I couldn't mention it to Olivia because Gbemi was her sister and her best friend.

Olivia was at my house one evening when in her characteristic fashion, Gbemi sent me a photo of her, topless with the caption- "don't you wish you girlfriend was hot like me" I deleted it, quickly, not wanting Olivia to see it. This was a narrow escape as I had just collected my phone from Olivia when the photo came in. I thanked my stars.

This was just one of her many houndings. I was at a loss at how to deal with this without jeopardizing our friendship and more importantly my relationship with Olivia, who at this time had become everything to me.

One night Gbemi showed up at my door

It was dark outside and raining heavily and Gbemi was at my door drenched.

'Timi please help, I was just robbed down the road. The robbers took my car, my bag, my jewellries, my phone.. i've been stripped of everything.

'How did it happen? OMG! I hope you are okay' There was blood streaking down the side of her face

'Yes I am. One of the robbers shoved me forcefully and i scratched the side of my face. Timi I am shaken. I can't reach anyone because I don't have my phone on me'

This was about 2am. I resisted the urge to ask her what she was doing out at this time.

I heard a few gunshots in the distance.. She jumped 'it's those robbers firing the shots.. My God'

'Don't worry you are safe here.. They won't come here'

She looked limp as she sat on the couch. I realised she was shivering. 'Let me turn the water heater in the guest room on so you can shower'

'Oh! Thanks so much Timi, I could so use a warm bath'

As I leaned to turn on the heater. I felt somebody's weight resting on my back. Alarmed, I turned around and behold my eyes met a stark naked Gbemi. 'What in the freaking hell are you doing?'

'I want you Timi, always have. I want you right now' she said her voice laced thick with hoarse sensuality.

'But.. But..' I stuttered. Suddenly jolted as she slipped her hands into my trouser pants

'Please, please just this once. I want you, I need you, i have always wanted you from the beginning but you chose her..' Gbemi continued, her fingers circling my shaft as she spoke softly into my ear. In one swift motion she had her legs around me and began kissing me. Luscious soft mounds of breast covered my face. I felt the beginning of an erection.

It took all of my willpower to resist her, the more I tried to resist her, the more forceful she became. 'Stop this Gbemi' it was supposed to be me yelling but it came out sounding like a whisper. I couldn't believe how strained my voice was.

Then I heard her voice... A voice laced with shock and pain "TIMI... GBEMI"

It was Olivia standing in the doorway, blood drained from her face.

FYI: As usual Life in the single lane brings out issues faced by single people. What would you advice in this situation? Would you advice Olivia to call off the relationship even though we know Timi is not at fault? If it were you would you trust your man even if the situation on ground seems too convincing. How would you deal with a friend like Gbemi? Do share your thoughts

For more Life in the Single lane post click HERE


  1. Yesssss! I've so missed Life in the single lane hunnay. This one too doesn't disappoint. U don't ever disappoint miss vuitton. Love this


  2. Hmmm! MizVi've been trying to comment since. Please fix the comment section stat. As for the issue at hand, there is no frigging way olivia will ever believe timi is innocent. My own advice would be to cut off Gbemi as a friend because she's obviously not her friend. As for Tinmi he should just pray Gid should vindicate him. IMO, Love NEVER fails

  3. Hmmmm! Interesting. Love the references to the dictator... I loved that movie. Nice one as always .
    That Gbemi is a 2 kobo slut jeez! How could she. Feel so sorry for Timi cos he's the innocent on here but really he knew she had been making advances so he shouldn't have tried to make her too comfortable. You see where that got him.. Guys when will You learn pls. There's nothing like doin nice guy o! You'll so get your fingers burnt

  4. Its all Timi's fault, i don't understand the friendship he was trying to protect, Gbemi was obviously not a friend and he should have been firm right from the start, maybe a part of him wanted Gbemi anyways or why else would he have condoned such nonsense. If i was Olivia it would be hard to convince me, not with the many tales of how friends betray each other etc.

  5. I would advice Olivia to talk to Timi
    She will lose her friendship with Gbemi.
    It is not Timi's fault because he didn't bring gbemi or anything
    but he should have let her know as soon as gbemi started coming on to him
    and believe me, he was saved by the bell. Like my sisters say, he would have
    'slept' code word for 'had sex'.

  6. Hmmmm...Olivia, trust ur man...It is hard, but u can. U'll both get thru this...Love conquers all.


Please don't spam