Will you let him have that x-rated bachelor party?

Movies like "The Hangover" have given us a warped idea of  bachelor parties

So like any other wedding enthusiast I'm a frequent visitor of weddingbee

(In case you've never visited wedding bee, it is a top wedding forum where real life brides exchange ideas from wedding planning to advice. Some of the posts are funny, some even embarrassing but of course most of the posts are helpful especially if you are planning a wedding).

So on one of the boards in the forum, a bride-to-be was venting about her fiance's bachelor party. The story goes somewhat like this-

Apparently bride-to-be and fiance live together and planned their bachelor/bachelorette party on the same day. Fiance had asked her permission to use their house which she agreed to, setting her boundaries. The boundaries were that the party will not extend beyond the sitting room and there will be no strippers. Fiance agrees promising it was going to be just a fun guys hang out with booze, sports and loads of laughter. She later got to find out through one of the groomsmen's wives, who hacked into her husband's facebook account, that her husband had arranged for strippers to be at the bachelor's party.

A scene from a bachelor's party
For me this definitely is a deal breaker... WTH

Angrily, she confronted her fiance who admitted that there were strippers involved. Upon further probing, he confessed to having strippers in their bedroom, on their bed. He also admitted that he had several lap dances and one of the guys even had a 'private' session with one of the strippers. Obviously we all know it didn't end at a lap dance (my 2 cents though). Bride-to-be feels disrespected. It is only a day to her wedding and she is considering calling it off.

Question then is- I've heard guys insist on having a bachelor party and details of it are usually kept really quiet from their fiancee, the bachelor party is 'the last hoorah' before settling down to their forever-after -marriage to their wife. Would you as a woman, especially when you trust your man, agree to letting him have a bachelor's party, an x-rated one at that, because not letting him have one will make him feel deprived and make you look bad to all his friends?, or would  you let him have it then follow the "don't ask, don't tell principle". Does it bring up trust issues?

OR

For the guys, does it really mean nothing? is it really as innocent as y'all want us to believe? Is it worth risking your marriage for?

Please share your thoughts

Teju Babyface and Tobi Banjoko pre-wedding pictures

The pre-wedding shots for Teju babyface and Tobi Banjoko are finally out

Teju looks dapper as hell, he shoulda worn that suit at his wedding, lol

Photos courtesy Shola Animashaun photography

Bachelorette Party or Bridal Shower Party

A scene from a Bachelorette Party

Personally I dread bridal showers. Who has time for all those dumb games?- making a wedding dress and veil from tissue paper, asking personal questions about the bride and groom, when you could be out on the town partying, downing glass after glass of champagne and screaming your lungs out. Yes! that is what girls time out is made of and that's what goes down  at a Bachelorette party. I'm not a girly girl

But truth is not everyone is wild like that. Some people are more of home bodies than night crawlers and while you may enjoy wild nights you can't take away from the fact that bridal showers are more intimate affairs and can make you feel really special. Bridal showers usually involve family and friends and can be hosted by an aunt, a mother, or a family friend. There are lots of treats- sweets, drinks, chocolate and cake. It is a time where innocent games are played, memories are relived and the bride is showered with plenty of practical gifts with which she can start a home (don't know about Nigeria though.. people just come to eat your food, lol)

Pre-Wedding Checklist

Sometimes planning a wedding can be a big hassle. If you aren't well organised and if you are not using a wedding planner, you could become overly stressed and worked up before your wedding day.

Here is a checklist compiled by yours truly for a typical Nigerian wedding in no particular order

Eniola and Abdul Alebiosu at their traditional engagement ceremony
Photo courtesy sugarweddings.com

• Meet the parents
• Plan introduction ceremony
• Choose traditional and wedding dates even though tentative
• If it is a church wedding, decide on the church you would love to wed at.
• You may request for an officiating minister in advance
• Start marriage counselling. Most churches usually require 3 - 6 months notice
• Choose wedding theme/colours
• Start buying aso-ebi. Start early enough.
• Start shopping for wedding favours.
• Shop for a wedding venue, start early because most venues are fully booked 3 months ahead
• Get vendors- makeup, cake, caterers, decoration, music, security, desserts, drinks e.t.c
• Bring together bridesmaids and unless you are a gbobgbo bigz gal and willing to write off their bill tell them the price of their dresses and accessories- whether your ordering or using a tailor.
• Get your wedding dress and accessories - start early and have a set idea of what you want, else you'll be tossed about by every wind of doctrine as there are several great styles to choose from and this may leave you feeling even more confused.
• Get a tailor to make your traditional wedding attires.
• Check on the groom and make sure he's put together his wedding party- their clothes, accessories etc guys are generally very lackadaisical about stuff like that
• Shop for your rings
• Plan your honeymoon
• Take engagement shots
• If you have wonderful friends, they will plan your bridal shower
• You may choose to do pre-wedding dinner instead of a bridal shower
• Do the traditional rites.
• Then court wedding - these two are usually days apart i.e. trad and court wedding
• Relax and prayerfully wait for your wedding day.

You may decide to hire a wedding planner that will take care of pretty much everything.

Exotic Honeymoon Spots in Nigeria

You do not have to break the bank to have a memorable honeymoon.

With the strains of money and resources expended in creating the perfect wedding, most couples will rather go for a low key honeymoon... remember they are just starting their life together as man and wife independently of their respective families.

If you are on a budget, going as far as Abu Dhabi or Seychelles may not be the first thing that comes to mind when there are bills to pay.

However, you can create the perfect memorable honeymoon right here in Nigeria.

There are lots of hot honeymoon spots where you can get the right mix of ambience and tranquility and enough romance to create quadruplets.




Below are some exotic honeymoon spots right here in naija





LA CAMPAGNE TROPICANA BEACH RESORT

...Garden of Eden Re-discovered! located at Akegun Town Epe

Life is a Beach.....